Life is a funny thing. I've always been a very indecisive kind of person. I've always been that girl who changes her dreams by the week and doesn't know what she wants out of life, or where she wants to go. That being said, I think all I really needed was someone to open my eyes and help me see what talents God has given me.
Growing up, my parents and family friends always said I had a good singing voice. I thought I was unique until "American Idol" came along. I didn't feel so special anymore. I felt like anyone can sing, I'm not as special as I thought. The thing about singing was that it was harder for me than it was for everyone else. It was frustrating not being able to hear every chord. It was frustrating for me to always be beat in competitions by the girls with Mariah Carey-like voices. In fact, I had even been told a few times I couldn't sing or I shouldn't sing because of my hearing loss. I gave singing one last shot when I was a senior in high school. I wasn't able to be in choir so I auditioned for the "advanced/special" choir. It was a choir produced solely on finding only the best of the best singers. I once again lost out. I decided singing just wasn't my thing. God didn't plan for me to be a singer. After giving up singing, I turned to photography.
I remember being a little girl and getting my first camera. It was made by Fisher Price. I could've sworn I was special and the only little girl with a camera. At the same time, I was fascinated. I was amazed at the pictures I could produce and the things I could capture. Writing can capture things too, but for me it was different with a camera. I felt like it was my way of capturing God's amazing creations. In some strange way, photography has always helped me keep a smile on my face. It's always reduced stress. The camera has always been there for me when I needed an escape. The camera was there for me when Grammy passed away. The camera helped me capture the faces of the animals I had fallen in love with at the Humane Society when I volunteered. When college wasn't going as I had planned, the camera in my hand made everything seem simpler, better.
Now, finally at the age of 21, I have had the ultimate AH HA! moment. I have realized while I searched for my passion in life and what truly made me happy, it was right in front of my face the whole time. Photography. That's what makes me happy. I'm at my happiest with a camera in my hand. No one can take that feeling away from me, even if they do steal my camera.
My AH HA! moment came after having e-mailed a few of my favorite pictures of Zoo animals that I had taken at the San Antonio Zoo to Lynne Lee the Development Supervisor. Back in the Fall of 2006 I bought a zoo membership as a place I could hang out after classes to just chill out and walk around. I brought my camera along on one of my trips and took some of the most amazing pictures I have ever taken. I had forgotten how in love I had been with some of those pictures until I saw this month's zoo newsletter. I saw the ZOOm! section as an opportunity to look back at the pictures I had taken and see if I couldn't pull out some amazing ones. I ended up e-mailing a total 8 pictures. She loved them all, but the one of the butterfly from the butterfly exhibit was her favorite. Hearing back from her and hearing how pleased she was to see my pictures made me realize how much of a joy photography is for me. I love making people smile and if I can do that just by the click of a button, that's a blessing!
I've learned that life isn't a competition. It's just about living and doing what makes you happy. Taking pictures makes me happy. Whether it's of a butterfly or a person, to me, it's all the same feeling of amazement. I truly believe, that if I can take pictures whether it be professionally or just for fun, I'll die a happy girl. Everyone has a passion, even the most indecisive of people.
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