Loving Olivia.

"Much learning does not teach understanding." -Heraclitus

I grew up hard of hearing. It wasn't until later on in life I realized the looks some people will give me, questions that will go unasked, and the judgments being passed. Then again, maybe it's a good thing I wasn't forewarned about what challenges and people I might come face-to-face with...

My parents bought me my first hearing aid when I was a freshman at Clark. The classes were bigger and the amount of noise I heard got seemed to be getting smaller. By my sophomore year, my hearing aid had been driven over and sent to Hearing Aid Heaven. It wasn't until my junior year that I got my two hearing aids. I never had a problem wearing them in public. I just looked at them as one expensive accessory. College changed things for me and for my hearing aids. I stopped wearing them my freshman year of college, Fall semester, right after I dropped out of the ASL program. I hadn't ever thought in-depth about my reasoning behind my decision to move on with school without my hearing aids, that is, until this semester.

Sitting in my Marriage and Family class listening to the professor give instructions, I could've sworn I heard her word-for-word. I was wrong. I missed half of her instructions within five minutes of the class. Then, in Life Sciences, a girl was introducing herself to me and I had to ask her several times to repeat her name because I just didn't understand what in the world she was saying. Those two experiences opened my eyes and made me realize I need my hearing aids and they need me.

Today, was my first full day wearing hearing aids in three years. My Public Speaking classmates looked at me like I was an alien because I was using my Pocket Talker (see: http://www.hearingloss-wa...org/Amplification.pdf). I was uncomfortable and had never felt so alone in 75 minutes. A boy even leaned over my stuff in the middle of class, without saying anything to me, to read the text on my Pocket Talker that simply reads "Pocket Talker". It was then that I realized why I stopped wearing my hearing aids in the first place. Hearing aids and devices that go with them attract unwanted attention and looks. I understand the curiosity, but I don't understand the looks and judgments. I don't like to feel alienated especially when I'm in a class and we're expected to work as a group. I don't like to be stared at and judged. Above all else, I don't want to be treated like an idiot (with or without my hearing aids).

I'm a friendly and open person. I would much rather someone ask me a crazy question than assume a crazy answer. I'm not always going to have my hearing aids in. In fact, I hate sounds like air conditioners, so the less I wear them the happier I am. I like to think I'm an expert lip reader, but the fact of the matter is, I still miss things people say and sounds made. I need help sometimes and am not afraid to ask. Don't treat me like an idiot. Don't talk to me like I'm slow. Talk to me like I'm a human being. Treat me like I'm a human being with a brain. Don't judge me. Don't stare at me. Ask questions and inform yourself about who I am and what my life is like. Don't be afraid to talk to me. I'm just like every other 21-year-old you've met. The only difference between me and them is, I have expensive accessories in my ears.

If my parents and doctors had warned me about the looks and judgments, I'm not sure I ever would've wanted to leave the house. I am blessed with amazing friends and family, but the few people who make me uncomfortable and alienated, tend to ruin it for everyone. So, PLEASE, treat me and everybody else like the humans we are. It's the least you can do.