Ramblings.

I wish I could write everything I want to write, like how wonderful Wednesday afternoon was. Seeing as I'm under review though for a job with the federal government, I can't say much. All I can say on that front is I passed my test. The first of many. Unfortunately, there is one person I have not told or talked to about it. Now, on to my ramblings...

I feel like I've blogged about change more than I've blogged about anything else in my life. Change is sometimes good. Other times, I don't know how I feel about it. People change, life changes before our eyes, and friendships change. Friendships changing probably is the hardest thing to deal with. Some friends are meant to be in your life until the day you die (Tyler would be that friend for me) and some are only in your life temporarily. It's the temporary friendships that are hard to swallow. They don't start out temporary. Then, one day all of a sudden everything changes. Suddenly, you're down a friend.

I wish I could sit here and say I'm heartbroken, but the truth is, I'm not. I can't be. I didn't do this to myself. I am not at fault for things changing the way they have. I can't control someone else's actions and reactions. That's on them and they have to take responsibility for it. If forgetting me, moving on, shutting me out, and no longer being a friend to me is something they are okay with, I am too. I have no other choice. I feel as though this was a long time coming. The disrespect was getting hard to take, the lack of apologies was unbearable, and the truth wasn't be told. The friendship may not be over. Who knows? I certainly don't. Though, if there's one thing I've learned in 25 years of life, it's that life goes on with or without your friends by your side.

In less than a couple weeks, I leave this place behind for good. Two people (my roommate Hannah and my absolute BFF Tyler) I will not be leaving behind. It doesn't matter how far apart we end up from May going forward, they will always be in my life. They understand me or at least take the time to TRY to understand me, they laugh at my incredibly stupid jokes, put up with my insults, and just GET me. It's sad knowing I'm leaving here with to certain friendships in tact and the rest have either ended or are up in the air. I like to think I'm worth being friends with, but I want friends who are going to stick with me no matter what. No matter the fights we have, the insults we throw around that hurt, the tears that are cried, the laughter that is had, and the craziness that exists.

If you're easily offended, I am not the friend for you. If you are not honest, I don't have time for you. If you do not take the time to try to understand, it's time for you to move on. I'm a grown woman. I will be 26 in ONE WEEK. I'm figuring life out as I go. I just don't have time for the things and people that simply don't matter anymore. I'm not in high school. This is real life. There is a real world outside of college and it's a harsh one. There isn't time to sugarcoat everything and lie all the time. Life is short and moves quickly. Either you're in my life, or you're not. I don't have time for the bullshit. At the end of the day, I'm just a girl from Texas finding my place in the world and sticking with people who love me no matter what. If you can't accept me for me, there's the door. Don't let it hit you on the way out. Have a good life. That's all there is to it.